Of the numerous how-to books released monthly none sell as well as weight loss titles and those that focus on how to commit a crime. The Plea is not a how-to book, but it is filled with instructions on manipulating the criminal system in order to get away with murder. The particular method covered in The Plea is fool proof. The murderer never gets caught and is never made to pay for their crime. It generally works best if the murderer is a soulless, malignant creature void of conscience. If you’re the kind of individual who might be disturbed enough to lose sleep after killing a man this probably isn’t for you. But if you can take a life and go on as though you’ve done nothing wrong this method is ingenious.
A word of caution…there is no going back after you employ this method. You’ll be taking away everything a man is and everything he’s ever going to be. It’s a slow, painful death you’ll be utilizing. But don’t worry. You never have to see with your own eyes what you’ve done. And here’s an added feature, you get to blame the victim for what’s happened! People you’ve never met will hear your twisted story and pat you on the back for what you’ve done. You won’t even have to prove the victim harmed you. You just have to be able to keep up the charade for the rest of your life. No one will ever officially challenge the reason for why you murdered a man so don’t even focus on it.
Are you ready?
If you want to murder a man and get away with it simply accuse them of child molestation. This accusation works well for any reason you can imagine, but the accusation of child molestation works best for women who want a divorce and want to maintain custody of the children. Sure you might have to contend with those annoying people from child welfare, but again, not to worry. It will take child protective services months to get around to investigating the claim and by that time the accusation has stuck. All that’s left to do is to keep making the accusation over and over again. Eventually, the authorities will intercede and no questions will be asked. When they cart the accused away and you file for divorce you’re free to marry the person you’ve been having an affair with which is why you decided to go along with the accusation in the first place.
Hey, teenagers. Tired of your father telling you what you can and cannot do? Jealous of a half-sister and want to make her pay for the attention family and friends give her because she’s talented and personable and way more beautiful than you can ever hope to be? Accuse your father of molesting you. Don’t concern yourself with whether or not you’ll have to back up your claim with any proof. No one is going to ask you if you remember specific dates this happened, specific times, or any of the standard questions you’d be required to answer if you accused someone of say, bank robbery or carjacking. As a matter of fact, even if the accused has physical proof that you’re telling one lie after another it won’t matter. The claim itself is so disgusting and incendiary people will believe you based on that alone.
Don’t let the fact that you’ll have to take this all the way to court bother you either. There’s something called the rape shield law that prohibits the unfortunate, falsely accused man from ever having the chance to face the person who has accused him of such a hideous act. This kind of case rarely if ever sees the light of day. There is a 97% conviction rate for anyone accused of such an act and a jury need ever hear the facts. All they go on is the foul accusation and who you claim did it. No evidence need be entered. That’s why an attorney will strongly urge the man you’ve accused to take a plea. The family of the poor man will encourage him to take a plea too. After all, when the lawyer gets done telling the man’s mother, father, sister, brother, nieces and nephew that going to court means certain death for their loved one they’ll beg him to take a plea. What do they know?
Once in federal prison you can be assured the man you’ve malicious maligned will never see the light of day. You’ve accused him of child molestation. The other inmates around him who find out will beat him mercilessly. He’ll have severe brain damage and if he already had Parkinson’s disease when he was locked up that’s perfect! Now the true suffering begins. He’s beaten again and raped. Inmates have smashed his glasses so he can’t see and they beat his teeth out so he can’t eat. He’ll die, but it will be a gruesome, gut-wrenching death. If you wanted his family to go through a thousand kinds of hell on earth you’ve accomplished that too. They’ll be forced to watch this agonizing demise and deal with the prison officials who have no more heart than you do.
But wait, there’s more.
The falsely accused man has been ordered by the court to pay you restitution. The restitution should come out of the pay your victim earns from a job in federal prison but if he can’t work because he’s dying his family have to pay it. Technically, the funds his family provide him should go to pay for his medical care, the pesky medication to keep his tremors from Parkinson’s disease down to a low rumble but it will go to you and there’s nothing they can do about. Perhaps this chapter should have been entitled How to Getaway with Murder and Make Money At the Same Time.
There’s so much more I could share on this method of murder but it’s time for me to drop to my knees and plead with God to take the hurt and bitterness from my heart. I’m sure I’ll be fine until tomorrow morning when the wave of sorrow over the demise of my brother visits again.