April 27th, 2009

There are those people in life who show up to everything fashionably late and make a grand entrance doing so. I am not one of those people. I have always been 15 to 30 minutes early to everything and it’s irritating. I’m waiting a lot. A 1 o’clock meeting doesn’t really start at 1 o’clock. It starts at 1:15, 1:25…I know this and yet I’m always early. I should wait another week to make the calls to confirm everything for the book signings in the Midwest, but I don’t. I made them today and it’s still too early! I’m trying to anticipate everything that could go wrong however. In my world something always goes wrong. I don’t see the glass as half-full or half-empty. I see it as a glass somebody else has already put their germs on. As I was early again for a meeting today I decided to pop in to a store and try to find a swimsuit. I don’t own a swimsuit. I think that’s a dangerous fashion statement for a size 12-14 woman with big hair. If I hadn’t have been early I would have been content to wait for the styles from the late 1800s to come back. You know the look – the big blouses with the bloomers, tights, cap and cape. I glanced briefly at the thong bikinis. Brave is the woman who dares to dream the impossible dream, face a new challenge, try on a thong bikini knowing she’ll look like a sumo wrestler. Ultimately, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to try on ANY swimsuit. The only thing I found really comfortable at the store was the dressing room. Oh well, I’m not going to be swimming in Dodge City anyway. I’ll be promoting Thunder Over the Prairie. Fully clothed. Head to toe in traditional prairie garb. I’d like to think the men who were part of the greatest posse in the Old West and the subject of Thunder Over the Prairie would applaud my decision. I’d also like to think they’d be offended at any woman who wore a thong swimsuit and captivated by those who were always early. Hey, a big-haired girl can dream.