July 31st, 2009

I’ve been able to get a lot of writing done since I’ve been sick. Usually I breakup my work day with a routine trip to FedEx or the post office, but I’m unable to do that so I’ve just concentrated on the next book. For a little while I’d hoped this bought of bronchial pneumonia would take me out of this world. I tire of the struggle. I continually worry about my brother that’s in prison and it’s too painful to hear the hurt in my parent’s voices over what happened. My mother is justified in how badly she feels. Her execution?let’s just say she’s like a mother lion that has her mouth around her cub’s neck – sometimes she clamps down a little too hard. Maybe all mothers are like this, but my mother can work a 48 years-gone umbilical cord like Zorro lighting matching with a whip. She’s got the psychological and emotional drop on me. And you know what, a mother’s claim on your psyche is wholly substantiated because you love her so much. My mom has been right there for all the investigation into the accusations made against Rick. She’s seen the letters from officials who confirm everything Rick has said and can backup his side of the story. She’s seen the medical reports that show there’s no way he ever raped the accused in the manner she claimed. She knows and it’s killing her. She wants to be heard, but no one is listening. And the sad sorry truth is no one ever will. My mom wants to protect her kids from anymore hurt. That’s her job. There’s a very good explanation for why cult leaders force members to cut off all contact with their families. Because they know that their spell will be broken and all the mind control will disappear the instant you hear your mother saying: “And I suppose that just because your new friends are having themselves castrated so they can go on the spaceship, you have to do it too, right?” The relationship between mothers and children never changes, and that’s because no matter how rich or powerful you are, your mother still remembers when you were three and put SpaghettiOs up your nose.