December 11th, 2009

It’s been a banner year. It’s been a banner decade. In between my writing assignments I’ve been visiting with my brother who is in federal prison and struggling with his health. He was beaten and raped and the result of that violent act have changed everything. It’s hard to watch someone you love die and not want to do all you can to stop it, especially when you feel responsible. I told him to take the guilty plea and I’m having a hard time living with that. I received a letter yesterday that said I was “obsessed with him.” Maybe so. As I say, it’s hard to watch someone hurting like Rick is and not want to do all you can to save him. The letter I received consisted of a list of my faults and how I’ve been a disappointment. The intent of the letter was to hurt and it didn’t miss the mark. The one comment in the letter I do feel compelled to respond to is this one and I quote a segment of the letter now “You claim to be a Christian but you don’t worship the same God I do because the God I worship would be disappointed in you.” I know I’m a sinner and that God has a lot of work to do with me, but one thing God is not is disappointed in me. He doesn’t see us as others do. He sees us as the finished product. A sinner saved by grace. He sees His Son in us. When you see me driving down the road in a jalopy, you don’t see me strictly by myself. My car is a kind of identity. But if you see me driving down the road in a classic Corvette with chrome… Hoo boy! You see me differently, don’t you? When God looks at us, he sees the Corvette. While Paul was still a sinner, a murderer, God saw him as a great missionary. While Abraham was a sinner, a liar, he saw him as the father of a nation. I have always questioned how other people saw me, whether or not they truly loved me, but I stand on solid ground with this point. God does loves me and is proud of me even if no one else in my family ever will be. He corrects me when I’m off base and is doing that daily. He does that for everyone. He doesn’t look at us the way human beings look at us. That’s what made me want to accept Christ into my life and that’s why I seek him still. The new book Cowboy True’s Christmas Adventure is being launched Saturday at the Bookseller in Downtown Grass Valley at noon. The bookstore phoned yesterday to let me know that they were out of books. I rushed to the store to drop off more. Things will be okay.