August 20th, 2009

How bad can life be when my work day begins with a book signing in beautiful Lake Tahoe and ends with a meeting with Clint Black prior to his concert at the Gallo Center for the Arts in Modesto? Seems pretty good. I consider myself blessed, but not necessarily happy. I’m forever mindful that my brother is in jail, in harms way, and I am the one who persuaded him to take the plea. No matter what is going on in my life, I miss Rick and am painfully aware that he isn’t coming home. The beauty of Emerald Bay will be marred by the though of where he is and the memory of how he used to be. I’ll spend the drive praying not only for Rick, but for whatever problems I seem to continually cause at my church. Perhaps like many things in life you outlive your usefulness somewhere and it’s time to move on. I put in a lot of hours there and enjoy working on programs like Christmas in Bethlehem and the benevolence committee, but when the church leadership is less than thrilled with you , it’s time to go. I get beat up a lot in my professional and personal life I don’t have the strength to deal with another group of individuals who are disappointed in me too. Even at a church setting there seems to be a different set of rules for the average volunteer and those related to the ministerial staff. None of this takes away from the fact that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior. I just don’t seem to fit anywhere and I’m so very tired of the battle and I’m lonely to the bone. On a lighter note, I’m going to have a chance to interview a descendant of General George Custer tomorrow for my book about Elizabeth Custer. That should prove to be very interesting. I’m grateful that Gail Kelly-Custer has consented to talk with my about her heritage. My publisher is also giving me a chance to submit a book proposal for one of the most heroic woman in history, Nellie Bly. I’d like to remove myself to a remote island where there are no critics and heartache and pour myself into my writing. Of course it wouldn’t hurt if Matt Damon were near by.