August 26th, 2009

A few weeks ago I did an interview for a newspaper in Missouri where my family lives. The interview was about the western books I’d written and the books I have coming out in the not too distant future. I had forgotten that the article was due to come out until I received a call from my grandmother. I wasn’t home when she phoned so she left a couple of messages on my answering machine. Both messages were about the fact that the article was on the front page of the newspaper and how hurt she was that I didn’t mention her. She was near tears when she said, “You must be so ashamed of me and the fact that I’m in a rest home.” She wasn’t happy for me or proud of me, just hurt that I didn’t mention her. My family put the “funk” in dysfunctional. The message did remind me of a few others my grandmother has left on my answering machine that are just as aggravating, but none the less comical. I thought I’d share. “Hello, Chris. Yeah, I don’t know if you heard the latest on the portable stereos, but they’re saying that the foam earpieces on the headphones is a prime breeding ground for bacteria. So if you’re walking around with headphones on, you may wanna take an antibiotic. Okay? Talk to you soon. Bye.” I’ll write more later. My phone is ringing now. It might be my grandmother.