Journal Notes

I’m trying to get back to work today. I have been writing about Bat Masterson and his role in the posse that set out to capture Dora Hand’s killer. It’s hard to stay focused. It seems like my faith and circumstances have been in a head on collision. I don’t think believing in a good God makes sense right now. I don’t think he likes me much. Don’t think he liked my brother either. My mother wants him to be buried next to her at the Norborne Cemetery, but I can’t let that happen. Just thinking about what those absolute horrors of individuals did to him in life makes me shudder to think what they what do to his grave in death. What happens to him will be a closely guarded secret. You know, Bat Masterson excaped death more than once. He was shot in the pelvis during a gunfight at the Lady Gay Saloon near the Sweetwater Creek in Texas. An Army surgeon managed to remove the bullet, but he walked with a limp for the rest of his life. I miss my brother. Like I said, it’s hard to stay focused.

Life has thrown another curve and that has caused me to neglect the website. Once again my brother that is in prison has come under attack. We are trying to get him moved to another location, but the executive assistant at the Federal Bureau of Prisons has assured me that “he will be killed and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.” I’m heartbroken. If he were to just die it would be one thing, but they will rape him again and again and beat him to death. My poor parents. I have been so very involved in my church and know God is real, but question everything about my faith right now. There is no mercy. I continue to work on my writing as best I can. It is my one and only joy these days.

The conditions were just right today to write about the Kansas posse pursuing the man who shot entertainer Dora Hand. Wyatt Earp, Charlie Bassett, Bill Tilghman, and Bat Masterson chased the bad guy across the plains and lost his trail after a heavy rainstorm. They made camp in the rain and tried to sleep so they would be well rested to continue the hunt the next day, but the weather wasn’t having it. Sometime in the middle of the night the men began talking about their careers and various pursuits. Although the rain was rentless, the time they spent swapping stories helped make the wet conditions seem but a minor irritation. I’m trying to recreate the scene in the book. It’s not an action sequence, but so much can be learned about these legendary characters during the exchange. As always, Bill Tilghman is the standout lawmen among the four. He was unassuming and generous. I think I’m more than a little smitten with Mr. Tilghman.

Some days I’m not passionate at all about writing. Today I’d be hard pressed to say just what I was passionate about. I started this venture of writing wanting to do nothing more than pen comic screenplays. Simply put, I just wanted to make people laugh. Breaking into that line of work requires an association with someone in the business however. No matter how good the work might be you’d stand a better chance at winning the lottery than getting one of your screenplays optioned and made into a motion picture. The competition is overwhelming. So many people want to write or say they’ve written. I’ve met many people who tell me about their book or script. No one ever meets a dentist and confesses to them that they’ve been working on filling molars in their spare time. Few bump into a librarian and tell them about their idea to better the dewey decimal system. Lots of people write though and lots of people want the world to know what they’re writing. I admire their passion and on cloudy, rainy days like these, long to feel as excited about the venture as they do.

I’ve been busy this week writing about school marms of the old west. My publisher has asked me to bring the book in before the original deadline so I’ve been feverishly trying to comply. I want to focus all my energy on the posse book. I love the story and the memory of the four men I get to spend time with everyday. After meeting with Louis Gossett Jr. this past week I decided I would phone him and ask if he would read the screenplay I wrote entitled Frogs In Paradise. The story centers around a murder that actually occurred in my hometown. He agreed and my agent has sent the material to him. In other news, the production company that optioned Playing For Time emailed and told me there has been some interest expressed in the project. It would be nice to see that get off the ground. Even with all this going on I find I am overwhelmed with thoughts of my brother. I will write his story and continue to pray everyday that God stips the bitterness from my heart. It’s all consuming at times. There’s nothing anyone can do about the hurt and loss and that’s the damn awful misery of it.

I had the distinct pleasure of being a part of the Lone Pine Film Festival this weekend. I was able to speak with several Western film legends and visit a part of California I’d never seen. The volunteers working with the festival were kind and generous. The ladies who hosted the Friday night meals were gracious as well. Chris Langley, the gentlemen in charge of the event, gave my little mock-u-mentary a showing at the Lone Pine Film Museum. I am sincerely grateful for that opportunity. With the exception of sitting on a panel entitled Crafting Written Film History, in which I was clearly out of my element since I do not write about film history or consider myself worthy of being on dais with such giants in the field as Holly George Warren and Petrine Mitchum, the event was delightful. The man who moderated the panel was aware that I didn’t belong there either. The back-handed insult at the onset of the discussion where he introduced me to the audience was proof of how offended he was at my being there. At least I like to think he was simply offended by my presence and not that he is a boorish, self-indulgent, know-it-all with the manners of a goat on a regular basis. I could be wrong. Anyway, I’m glad to have had the experience.

In my opinion people who write quality music are the most talented writers around. To set thoughtful lyrics to a provoking melody is admirable. Whenever I hear a tune like that I am in awe of the creativity behind it. Music is a universal language and can mean many different things to different people. Nothing else is like that. I heard a song yesterday entitled Because of You. It brought back feelings that I have for my one time neice who falsely accused my brother of some very evil things. I am much more careful now with children from my Sunday school class than I used to be because of her. I never imagined teenagers would say the things she did to get attention and because of that I don’t trust any accusation a teenager makes about anyone – a teacher, aunt, uncle, grandparents. I lost a bit of the innocense I used to have because of her and it defines the way I write now and see the world. The lyrics of the song Because of You echo my sentiments and I’m proud of the person who wrote the song. Wish I had that kind of talent.

The book signing at Barnes and Noble this past Saturday was wonderful! I met some very talented writers and particular enjoyed the conversation I had with Michael Troyan the author of the biography about actress Greer Garson. We’ve decided to collaborate on a book about the cowgirls of Old West films. I’m off to the Lone Pine Film Festival this weekend. It’s a six hour drive from my home, but I’m going to bring a handful of Max Brand westerns on tape and enjoy the ride. I’m working on the posse book and learning more about Marshal Bill Tilghman. In my opinion he was the best man on the ride and one of the finest lawmen that ever lived – next to my brothers that is.

I’m so excited about the signing at Barnes and Noble in Sacramento tomorrow. I think it’s going to be a great time and I’m grateful for the opportunity. I’ll be signing with authors who have written biographies on Greer Garson and Boris Karloff. I look forward to being able to talk with them about their subjects. My nephew leaves for the Navy on Monday. I know he’ll do well. Good luck, Corey.

One of the things I dread most about writing is when the manuscript comes back from the editor with questions, comments, and suggestions for changes that need to be made. The comments can be quite biting at times, even somewhat mean-spirited. I find myself on the defensive rathering than looking at the suggestions objectively. I just finished making changes to a book I got back from my publisher about outlaws of the Old West and I have to say the experience was quite different this time. The person who reviewed the material was kind and thoughtful. Their attitude made me want to bend to all of their suggestions. Don’t get me wrong. I still bristle at the prospect of doing rewrites, but this time it wasn’t so bad. The book Outlaws of California is due out sometime next fall.