Eliabeth Custer & Family

It wasn’t until I began working on the book about Elizabeth Custer that I knew how much she and George wanted a child. Elizabeth often wrote her husband about her desire to have a son or daughter. She reproached herself for not being able to get pregnant. George was sweet and reassured her that in time, they would be parents, but it never happened. As years past they grew to think that it was a blessing they couldn’t have children. The discomforts associated with childbirth and raising a baby in army life in the 1800s, and the many separations they endured helped to convince Elizabeth it was for the best. The couple was married for more than 12 years before George was killed at the Little Bighorn and although they were devoted to one another, I can’t help but wonder if their marriage might have been stronger if they’d been able to have a child. George had a bit of a roving eye – who knows if having an heir might have made him see things differently. Times were different in the Old West, but the desire to have a child at one time or another hasn’t seemed to dissipate as the centuries have rolled on. People long for a sense of family. I lost a child years ago and could never have any again after that. I always wonder how that would have changed my life and how it would have changed my ex-husband’s life if he had known. It doesn’t necessarily follow that your child will love you or be devoted to you I don’t suppose. I’ve seen enough of that in my lifetime to know that’s true. I never imagined children would make false accusation that would send a good man to his death. However, it happens all the time and recent news stories bear that out. It doesn’t stand to reason that those children will be quality individuals at all and not manipulate relatives with proclamations of “I love you and care about you” then announce “they are done trying to have a relationship with you.”  Given all the horrible things, those children have done how could I have believed that anyway?  (By the way, one of those grown children check this website daily).  It doesn’t necessarily mean that people who have children are going to love their child either. My biological father left when I was seven and never looked back. He had a roving eye too and like George Custer, rumors that he had children with women other then his wife continue to swirl about. George’s nieces helped to take care of her in her old age. They were a great comfort to her and she remembered their faithfulness in her will. No matter how she reasoned the desire away, I believe Elizabeth would have preferred to have her own children around her. A physical presence to remind her of the love her and George shared. She spent a lifetime defending his reputation. It would have been nice to look on the faces of their offspring and see George in their eyes. I think that would have made her immensely happy.