July 25th, 2009

Today is the next to last day on the eight week promotional tour for Thunder Over the Prairie. It’s too early to tell if the blitz had the long term effect I’d hope. The book has done well in the short term. I appreciate KNCO Radio. They are always enthusiastic about doing interviews with me on the material and both reporters had actually read the entire book prior to the broadcast. So today the signing is at a fabulous western clothing store in downtown Grass Valley. I’ll have to resist the temptation to spend any profit I make on the merchandise at the store. I’m broken hearted today, so I could be persuaded to believe that kind of spending is justifies. I received a letter yesterday about my brother Rick informing me that “there is simply nothing left to be done to save him and that it is time to allow myself to heal.” That seems like an impossibility. In the right now my hands are filled with bitterness and it’s all I want to taste. Hatred for the mother and daughter who brought about this ending washes over me. I’m living a nightmare I can’t wake up from. The ongoing horror is punctuated with book signings and talks of motion pictures, but it does little to ease the pain or rage. I want to look my tormentors in the face and ask why?