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Object Matrimony:

The Risky Business of Mail-Order Matchmaking on the Western Frontier

Contrary to popular belief, men who advertised for a wife in the publication Matrimonial News in 1859 were not looking for someone who could cook or clean they were looking for someone who was musically inclined. They missed their homes in the east and were longing for refinement. Women who played a musical instrument were most desirable.

I have a good friend who married a woman he met by answering an ad in newspaper. Her housekeeping technique could only be described as, “It appears as though there was a struggle.” She played a mean cello, however. They’ve been married for more than twenty years.

I hope these three sisters who advertised in Matrimonial News in 1892 were lucky enough to find the man of their dreams.

“We are three jolly and lively girls, all of us of the brunette order, having dark brown hair and dark eyes, we are all the same age and are quite good friends, 29 years old, of good form; would like to marry three friends or three brothers – we don’t want to be too far apart: want correspondence with gentlemen fond of riding horses and attending the theater.”

To learn more about the serious business of finding a husband or wife by mail in the wide-open days of the Old West read

Object Matrimony:

The Risky Business of Mail-Order Matchmaking on the Western Frontier

Enter now to win a copy of the book along with a $100 gift certificate from David’s Bridals

Enter now to win a copy of

Object Matrimony:

The Risky Business of Mail-Order Matchmaking on the Western Frontier

There’s an old cowboy expression that goes, “There’s only two things I’m afraid of, a decent woman an’ bein’ left afoot.” Being afraid of a decent woman didn’t stop lonesome cowboys from answering the following ads placed in specialty newspapers in 1887 from ladies looking for a husband.

“Would like to correspond with a rancher about 30 to 35 years old. Am an American widow of 33; height 5 feet 2 inches; weight, 200; brown eyes, brown hair; common school education. Personal property worth $1,500. Object matrimony. No flirts need write.”

“I am a modest little girl of 19 summers with pleasant disposition, black hair, pretty brown eyes, fair complexion, weight 134, height 5 feet 6 inches; I am a farmer’s daughter, dress plain but neat; can cook and do housework; fond of dancing and like amusement; would be willing to live in country; all letters answered. Object, matrimony.”

To learn more about the serious business of finding a husband or wife by mail in the wide-open days of the Old West read Object Matrimony: The Risky Business of Mail-Order Matchmaking on the Western Frontier.

Enter now to win a copy of the book along with a $100 gift certificate from David’s Bridals

Enter now to win a copy of

Object Matrimony:

The Risky Business of Mail-Order Matchmaking on the Western Frontier

If these matchmaking ads for women seeking a husband from 1877 were posted online today, I suspect they’d go viral.

“The people say that I am a good neighbor; a nice housekeeper, good cook and fine manager, always clean and neat, fond of home and children, and try to make home the happiest place on earth; am a widow; American, age 43, weight 120, height 5 feet 4 inches, blue eyes, brown hair, good education; have $500 personal property; object matrimony.”

“Here I am boys, all the way from Texas, a black-eyed maiden of 30 years with dark hair, a brunette type, weight 115, height 5 feet 4 inches, nationality German, religion Protestant, college education and piano player; wish to correspond with businessmen, Western men preferred, between the age 40 to 45. Will answer all letters.”

To learn more about the serious business of finding a husband or wife by mail in the wide-open days of the Old West read Object Matrimony: The Risky Business of Mail-Order Matchmaking on the Western Frontier.

Enter now for to win a copy of the book along with a $100 gift certificate from David’s Bridals

Enter now to win a copy of

Object Matrimony:

The Risky Business of Mail-Order Matchmaking on the Western Frontier

“I am a man of wealth and position,” said the widower Shyon Brane to the marriage broker, “and I seek a suitable mate. She must be handsome, clean, economical, industrious, and virtuous, a good cook, she must be a thrifty buyer, a capable housekeeper, and not easily stressed. She must know something of music and arts, dance well and be able to discourse intelligently on history and philosophy withal, she must be cheerful and of affectionate disposition.”

“Oh,” said the marriage broker, “you’ve come too late. One thousand years ago there was such a paragon but the gods took her to keep house for them. There is no wife for you, but the employment agency can supply you with a dozen domestics who, in a measure, may meet your demands.”

To learn more about the serious business of finding a husband or wife by mail in the wide-open days of the Old West read Object Matrimony: The Risky Business of Mail-Order Matchmaking on the Western Frontier.

Enter now to win a copy of the book along with a $100 gift certificate from

David’s Bridals.

Enter now to win a copy of

Object Matrimony:

The Risky Business of Mail-Order Matchmaking on the Western Frontier

People in the American West have been using the mail-order system to find a spouse since Russell, Majors, and Waddell created the Pony Express. Ads were placed in the newspaper Matrimonial News and interested parties would send a letter to the ad they found most appealing. Women were very discerning about the men who wrote them. Many saw it more as a business venture. Some women wanted zero from a man, others wanted lots of zeros from a man.

In the mid-1860s, women believed they had to be married by a certain age or they’d never find stability. I wished someone had told them that looking to men for stability is liking going to Dr. Hannibal Lecter for psychoanalysis.

What women were looking for in a man hasn’t changed much from the 19^th century. They wanted fair treatment, respect, patience, sensitivity, passion, and a genuine effort at understanding. Or if that’s too much, a gigantic diamond the size of a wagon wheel. Oh, yeah, and the knowledge that if don’t tell her how to merge she won’t tell you to ask for directions.

I’m thrilled I no longer have to think about this aspect of life. I’ve been married for thirty-six years and wouldn’t start over again for anything. I believe the selection of eligible men isn’t great. And if you look like Ruth Buzzi it’s even worse. I was thinking about this the other day when I was at the post office. Standing in front of me was some guy in his mid-seventies. He was wearing a powder-blue polyester shirt more pilled than a nightstand at Graceland, and was dusted with so much dandruff, I was tempted to place Christmas Village figurines on his shoulders. He was also wearing a cap with the phrase ASK ME ABOUT MY PROSTATE on it, and off-white slacks with a white belt, and there was a large pee spot near his left knee. This guy is in the pool of candidates I’d have to select from if I were single at sixty-three.

I wonder if the woman who placed the following ad in 1869 had the same thoughts.

“American; widow by death; age 38; weight, 135; height, 5 feet 6 inches; brown eyes; brown hair; Methodist religion; occupation, housewife; income $700 per year; business education and musician. Have means of $10,000. I am considered very good looking and neat. Will marry if suited.”

To learn more about the serious business of finding a husband or wife by mail in the wide-open days of the Old West read Object Matrimony: The Risky Business of Mail-Order Matchmaking on the Western Frontier.

Enter now to win a copy of the book along with a $100 gift certificate from David’s Bridals